All the Byron Bay nonsense I was forced to endure during episode FOUR of Byron Baes

There's a lot of negative vibes around right now

Light and love to you my angels - that’s right, I’m throwing out my garish and disgusting patterned clothing and replacing it with linens, I’m letting the universe guide me, I’m going to slam down some ceremonial cacao, because it’s time to recap another episode of Byron Baes.

So - the show goes on, and remarkably so do I. I have covid, and I’m getting close to the end of my isolation period and only today am I even SLIGHTLY well enough to write down my thoughts. To be honest, I’m not sure if I had thoughts to write down before today, just a seething mass of pandemic pain, the kind of brain activity equivalent of leaving a tiktok playing on loop in another room.

me writing my filthy little recaps

So don’t judge me, and also it was hard to remember anything that happened in this episode. A part of that is because not much happens on this show anyway - a party is had, a conversation is hinted at… but for me, this episode felt like teenage me watching Donnie Darko, convinced there was some sort of amazing truth hidden beneath the confusion, only to work out many years later the truth was: there is no truth. There is simply Byron.

But that’s life isn’t it - a sick little boy watching a bunch of influencer wannabes trying to work out what it all means. A sick little pale prince all bundled up in a blanket, desperately needing to be taken to the seaside for his constitution. Don’t open the window mama, the sun is too bright and the air too brisk. I’m ever so delicate.

woah… what IS byron?