All the heterosexual nonsense I was forced to endure during episode SEVEN of Fboy Island

reveal thine dirty fboys! show your precious boys!

Well this is a twist - after Vernon (dirty mo, looks like a mugshot escaped from the 2d realm and gained sentience) told Molly that he came onto the show as a fuckboy, Abbie revealed at the elimination party that EVERYONE must reveal their statuses, essentially ending the premise of the show.

nice guy fboy put your hands in the air, ah yeah like you just don’t care

It was interesting. I was genuinely pretty gooped by some of the reveals - men who I assumed were awful, apparently here for love. Men who I thought were too boring to be Fboys, proving me wrong. But while I was mildly gagged, these girls were thrown by a couple of them, and it really says a lot about trust and men, and not great things either. But we’ll get into this.

tfw you get plowed by Mr Squiggle

Hi! It’s nice guy Patrick Lenton here. Hmm, that makes me feel dirty. Anyway! I’m back, and I’m here to recap. We’re in the final week of this show, and gosh it’s been fun. The fact that there’s not 1000 episodes per week, laboriously and painfully stretched over a couple of months like a cursed yoga with adrienne, makes it a pleasure to recap. The fact that its bonkers and fun helps too.

So, without further erikah badu, let us recap. OH. Also, i’m seeing Bec tomorrow night because she’s in my town, and I’m showing her the sights and sounds and hustle and bustle of Melbourne - the new Indiana Jones movie.

this will be bec’s face when she sees indiana jones whip something

becs face when indiana jones find something old

OK RECAP.

LEAST ANNOYING

Justin

I think there’s a lot of lessons that can be learned from this show, which upon reflection, is a baffling thing to say. But I think we learned a lot about how untrustworthy men manage to squirm into intelligent women’s confidences. I think we learned a lot about the nature of trust. And even I, rogues scholar patrick lenton, learned a little something - not to judge people by their appearances.

this is telling on myself, but he looks like the one guy who completely ruins the fantasy of “straight guys fuck” porn videos.

I had Justin, Aldi version Draco Malfoy entirely pegged as an Fboy, based off appearance alone. In retrospect, he did NOTHING objectionable (although only watching every second episode means I might have missed an episode where he shot a puppy with an arrow). The only red flags were the fact that he looked like someone John Wick would kill in a bathhouse, and that one of the other guys was obsessed with him.

you’re trying to WHAT the Fboys????

Anyway, he’s apparently a nice guy, or at least believes himself to be - he came on with good intentions, and as far as I can tell, has stuck to them. Good for him, and good for me - I’m a better person now.

but is he, hes still a man