All the heterosexual nonsense I was forced to endure during episode SOCCER of The Bachelorette

Let's get to the bottom of things.

Just kidding, there was no episode of The Bachelorette last night!! It gave us a bleak look into our future in a few weeks when the show is over and Brooke chooses someone and we are resigned to follow the rest of her life on Instagram, commenting love heart eye reacts as if we are friends with her. The episode wasn’t on because of a soccer game, which …