All the heterosexual nonsense I was forced to endure during episode TEN of The Bachelorette

friends i saw some kayaks, those are het nonsense

Can you believe it’s the FINAL WEEK OF THIS SHOW? I’m not even fatigued, it’s been so incredibly quick. In very lesbian fashion, they have absolutely rushed this love story! Take some time! Don’t u-haul us (yes, i watched The L Word ten years ago, and yes i have references).

Anyway, we have final three, and we get to spend some time with them tonight. I feel like hometowns actually did some good work setting up realistic barriers towards a couple of them and Brooke, so I’m actually… slightly convinced I might not know who wins. So that’s interesting. Jamie-Lee forgot to say “I love you” at hometowns, which you’re canonically meant to do. Darvid’s mum won’t let him leave Queensland, let alone the street his entire family lives on. And Holly had to admit that she didn’t want any children (maybe one, if it’s small and cool and lives under the stairs). All valid reasons not to be chosen!!!!

tfw you have options about whose life you are going to ruin

But also, we need to talk about how KABBIE hard launched today on Instagram.

Patrick Lenton @PatrickLenton

🚨 hard launch of kabbie 🚨 #bacheloretteau

Two very hot people, two angels, I’m very happy for them. I hope he makes our queen extremely extremely happy. I’m sad he won’t be the bachelor, and i’m sad I can’t confirm if he’s bi, but I genuinely love these people and i think they’re gonna be great together.