All the heterosexual nonsense I was forced to endure in episode THREE of The Bachelorette

let's play a huge group game together, as if we weren't all traumatised from Squid Game and also PE

We’re back, we’re in week 2 of The Bachelorette, often called “the sequel week” in the TV biz (its not, people in tv cannot count!).

It’s kinda like a second date really - we’ve gone through the huge momentous occasion of meeting Brooke and her stable of suitors, and we’ve been pleased with what we’ve seen so far, we’ve realised we’re not going to be murdered and that she doesn’t have a bizarre need to bring the conversation back to NFTs all the time. The only NFT we’re having in this season is a Nice Fun Time.

It seems like the entire queer community is a Bit Impressed (a bit cautious to). Of course, we’re getting lots of reports of bad ratings instead - but i’ve already written about what I think about that!

But week 2 is like the second date, and the second date is a bit more serious - we’re going back with a more analytical eye, excited still but also wary. How long before the contestants start putting up huge red flags and waving them aggressively? They can’t rely on their gaudy tricks anymore (hard wooden chairs) to impress Brooke, now they have to be… real and genuine.

what happens if you try to build ANY kind of chair for Brooke now

Speaking of real and genuine, Bec and I are just so ridiculously grateful for every one of you that has subscribed. It really means a lot. Bec, Australia’s most gregarious queer said to me, and I quote “I have always relied on the kindness of strangers (to read my recaps)”.

Anyway! Let’s recap. (subscribers only, SORRY, we’re GREEDY and DESPERATE).