All the heterosexual nonsense I was FORCED to endure during episode 14 (???) of Married at First Sight

it's intimacy week... let's get intimate with how much i hate this show

Well hello there, and welcome to Bec and my depressive episodes, synced for your amusement. We’ve been through a lot together, Bec and I, suffered through boring seasons of The Bachelor, suffered long-distance pandemic affected relationships, and now suffer the indignity of not being able to spend mardi gras together. But all these are mere shadows of sadness, compared to the horror of what we’ve signed ourselves up to do with MAFs.

a photo i took of my friend Emma feeding Bec like a baby lamb at mardi gras last year

you know, i’ve realised this whole show is kind of like remedial straight person training. It’s special relationship training for straight idiots. There’s this dog training class I went to once with my traumatised rescue dog, and it was full of the real grim cases, lots of older dogs who have just been through hell. There was an idea that having all the dogs together would help them socialise, teach them how to act in a non-fucked up way around other dogs. It was a disaster, my poor little traumatised dog Ginny losing her goddamn mind immediately, surrounded by what she saw as multiple threats. My dog’s psychiatrist actually told me later it was the worst thing you could do - all these traumatised dogs fed off each other’s damage and basically learned even worst behaviour from each other.

I feel like this is what MAFs is like - all these IDIOTS and FOOLS (and I know i say this about a lot of people, but these folks are IDIOTS) put together and taught lessons from psychopaths and frauds, for prime time entertainment. Lots of these people are damaged and stupid and bad, and I think they’re all just learning terrible things from each other and becoming worse.

ANYWAY> ANWYAY. WNAYWYAY.

me reading a list of reasons why this show is so bad and i hate it and it makes my life worse