All the nonsense is coming soon

We're back back back again, and we're recapping The Bachelorette...

All The Heterosexual Nonsense I Was Forced To Endure, a newsletter where Rebecca Shaw and Patrick Lenton watch TV and make our silly little jokes..

Listen, we’ve been recapping The Bachelor franchise for a long time, for many many years, for too long. You might have followed along for our beloved* and award winning* recaps over at pop-culture website Junkee, where until recently Patrick was the editor. But he’s not anymore! So we’re going rogue!!!

* tolerated

* when i was the editor i gave myself an award, because i was very corrupt

Obviously, we had to come back to recap the upcoming season of The Bachelorette, dropping on Wednesday, because it’s a WORLD FIRST, with a queer bachelorette. Now, Rebecca and I are famously queer (what?????), we’re very invested in this, and I think this might be the most important season of the Bachelor franchise we’ve EVER recapped. Considering the fact there’s been no season of The Bachelor that’s ever been remotely important, and in fact they all detract from the overall tone of the world, we can ignore.

But we love this stupid show, and we love recapping it, and we really love all you people who enjoy reading our silly little words. Now, obviously it’s a change that we’re asking you to subscribe, but Bec and I are freelancers, and if a publication isn’t paying us to write these, then… we simply won’t be able to do it. We unfortunately have to do the work that allows us to survive and buy our fancy little subsistence meals, which is why we’re asking for a modest subscription fee. It makes a huge difference to us, because we’ve made many terrible choices in our lives! (and also… recapping is weirdly a lot of work???)

But we’re really excited about going independent on Substack — it means we can be even MORE weird and chaotic than ever, we can write to our own schedule, and once the Bachelorette is over, we can recap WHATEVER WE LIKE. If you want us to recap a specific show… as a subscriber, you can totally ask us to do that, and we will consider. We’re also working on more rewards for subscribers and special subscribers, apart from just having access to the recaps and articles.

Anyway, we’ll be publishing two recaps a week at least, during the season, and we’re so excited to watch this stupid show with you. THANK YOU!!