Drag Race Down Under power-bottom ranking: episode 1
the ghost of rupaul returns to the upside down
hello my ancient lovers, my dusty tomb boys and my cold mausoleum wives and my non-binary sarcophagus sweeties - welcome to our Drag Race Down Under recaps. I went to the premiere last night, didn’t go with anyone, so I had to rawdog meeting people and engineering spontaneous polite discussions, and I DID it, but naturally I drank about 1000 free glasses of champagne. That is why i am fixated on my cold dusty grave!
I just realised that I’ll be publishing this after embargo, so my hangover will have gone by then - but let’s just capture this moment of pain and regret for eternity.
The premiere was very fun, and not just because it was jam-packed full of drag queens who were towering over everyone else and stomping all over the place. It really made me feeling like that gay bird from the lion king when he’s singing that song and there are giraffes stomping all around him. I felt small and insignificant and I loved it.
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That said, I did tread on the back of THREE different queens dresses, I need to be shot out of a cannon and into the drag hague.
Getting introduced to the queens was great too - lots of love for a bunch of them from the audience, notably the Sydney queens (it was in Sydney), and also there was a very vocal section of Molly Poppinz fans sitting near me. All a really good vibe!
I also enjoyed the first episode - I’m actively rooting for this season, I don’t want to bring negativity with me. But the fact that it looks just a bit tighter, that the queens all seem interesting and fun and TALENTED, and that there’s some money involved, is doing a lot to keep me excited. Also, the couple of jokes about the previous season - including RuPaul making a gag about the conspiracy that they weren’t even in the same room - was also welcome. Makes me feel like they’re not going to try and gaslight us about the first season not really being to standard. I enjoyed when they were like “has anyone looked in the bins to see if Art Simone is hiding in one?”
Anyway! Let’s recap - our usual format won’t work with this, because Drag Race is gayer than a glitter becrusted asshole, so ranking the hetero nonsense would be pointless (unless we have a Maddy Morphosis situation, which WAS nonsense). So instead what i’ll be doing is power ranking - notable queens get points or docked points, and at the end of the season, I will declare a true winner or true loser. Fuck off, RuPaul! I’m the authority here.
WINNERS
Molly Poppinz + 6 points
Winner winner chicken dinner! So, i think it was an interesting choice to start the show on a scavenge design challenge - especially considering that last year’s queens just didn’t have a lot of polish already. I guess it was a way of putting them on equal footing? I don’t know - but Molly definitely managed to put together a coherent and camp outfit (coherent and camp sounds like an LGBTIQ specific alcoholics anonymous program) , and i think it’s indicative of who she is as a queen - she’s got style, she’s got flair, she was there. She has poise. And she was also kind of Australian-crass. At the Q&A she was talking about how she has won drag awards overseas. I think we have a contender.
Hannah Conda +5 points
Speaking of contenders, Hannah Conda seems like an absolute delight, and might be the confessional queen of the season. She also put together a good outfit, and seems to be just a goddamn pro already. Giving her a bunch of points because I’m calling her for top 3 now.
Let’s just hope she doesn’t do a Karen from Finance and look super polished and then just… doesn’t do anything.
Minnie Cooper +3 points
I think this show can be hard on beloved older queens, especially people like Minnie who are staples of Australian (and sydney drag) in particular. I remember several times seeing her perform at the Impy, including once on a really bad date with an ex-boyfriend, where even in the middle of some weird shit i was thinking “damn this queen is really funny”.
Anyway, I think age and respect often becomes a “thing” in the show, precisely because older queens have worked so hard for so long, that they find it hard to relinquish those crumbs of power and be “equal” to the younger queens, many (including on this show) who have been doing drag for only a hot minute.
But I thought that Minnie’s talk about ageism and respect on the show was interesting and thoughtful and affecting, and I know she’s such a queen of queens.
But that’s not why she’s getting these points. She’s getting some points for being a MESSY BITCH at the Q&A after the premiere and spilling some tea.
So when it got to her, and tiny little tv man David Campbell asked her about something inane, she spent a good deal of time, not naming names, and not being specific, talking about how “a queen did something awful to her on the show, and she still thinks it’s horrible that it happened to her” and basically continued the whole chat about ageism in the industry, and lack of respect. It was awkward. The other queens, except Spankie, were all VERY quiet.
Thank you, queen, for giving me some drama sizzle! I hope it’s not a combative season - I hate those, just look at the current All Stars, drama-free and SO good because of it - but I am a just a man, just an innocent man, and I can’t help but love some drama.
Losers
Faux Fur -1 point
Faux unfortunately loses a point for being kicked off first - so sad and unfair! I really liked her, she’s fucking manic, and I value that in people. It’s such a shame that she basically came on the show, got a bunch of gorgeous confessional airtime, hooted a whole bunch, got read for her black panties and left. I think she was really cool. But! This is Drag Race Down Under, i’m assuming she’ll be wheeled back in in a pile of trash for absolutely no reason, and we’ll forget she was ever gone at all.
Spankie Jackzon -4 points
Look. Look. Look. I’m just not on board with someone in their late thirties deliberately putting themselves in the “old queen” basket. She’s 37! A fresh baby. People in their late thirties and young and vibrant and how about shut up. I am docking these points from her entirely because of my own insecurities about age. I am mad with power and pathetic self image.
She also absolutely TURNED it out at the premiere. Pretty good for an old bitch.
Beverly Kills - 5
As Beverly said on stage after the screening “Guys… I think I’m the villain? Am I the villain?”.
Look, I know trash talk is a part of the confessional, but after last year - where everyone was SO MEAN FOR NO REASON - I don’t want to sit through that again, and it’s what she mostly offered, both in the confessional and in the work room. She’s gonna have to redeem herself. That said, she had an excellent entrance.
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All up, I really enjoyed the first episode of Drag Race Down Under Season 2, and I’m cautiously optimistic about the rest of it! Hooray!
Thank you for reading - please follow and if you can please subscribe. I’ll be keeping these DRDU recaps free, but with some extra bits for subscribers. Our Bachy recaps, starting very soon, will be for subscribers only. I LOVE YOU ALL
Oh - and make sure you check out Jared Richards DRDU recaps over at Junkee - best Drag Race recapper in the entire game, and so knowledgable and funny and smart, extremely yass queen slay mama (non ironic).