Drag Race Down Under power-bottom ranking episode 8 - THE FINALE
you can't spell finale without "gnarly"
Alright we are HERE we have finished another season of Drag Race Down Under, and i think this was an interesting season. Did I love it? No. But I did enjoy moments, and the lag didn’t seem to be about the queens lacking anything.
In fact, by the time we got to this episode, I was obsessed with the easy confidence and camaraderie of the final three. I enjoyed how Aussie and NZ drag was represented - silly and camp and rough. And I loved the final three queens. Yet somehow, the season still felt rushed or halfhearted or something - I failed to truly get invested or interested. The fault may be my own, I don’t know.
This episode was fun - but as with the majority of this season, nothing we haven’t seen before, with another verse-writing challenge to a Ru song. “I’m here to snatch the crown, the other queens will never see me frown, i’m fierce, fun, and sassy, the other queens are simply gassy”.
It was also the first episode for a while where there hadn’t been any confected drama, although that didn’t stop the queens reminiscing on avatar of chaos Minnie Cooper. I imagine that what we didn’t see on screen must have been even stranger.
Everyone looked gorgeous too - truly polished looks, even Spankie’s, although maybe it’s a case of strategically having the bar low.
Anyway - what we do for the power-ranking finale, is we go through and count the ranking points, and see if we will crown a recap winner! I can’t count so this will take a long time.
FINAL POWER RANKING
Kween Kong +23 points
while the queen may have given up and died, Kween lived, baby. Kween absolutely managed to SWEEP the power rankings, getting some high points at the beginning of the show, and then continuing to thrive. The secret? She’s the only queen who never got a negative point, because even in the days where her talent didn’t shine, she was never annoying.
In fact, her grace and dignity and empathy always shone. Her early conversation with Hannah about racism and cultural appropriation set the tone for a season that was already suffering from the shadow of s1.
While I agree Spankie deserved to win this season, I’m glad Kween won this ranking, gathering all my silly little points. Astonishing and brilliant queen, congrats.
Spankie Jackzon +12 points
Spankie has had quite a few ups and downs over the season, and the interesting thing is that she had the MOST scores throughout the season, being mentioned in every ranking except one - but some of those were negative scores. She ended up with 7 points, but then got a +5 for winning the season, and for looking pretty great this episode.
I think she’s great - and I think her arc was interesting, with someone who’s rough as guts, unpolished and unrefined, but possessing of a big dose of charisma. I think it says a lot about this season that the other queens weren’t able to exploit that obvious weakness. You never want to give the judges ammunition to create a negative narrative about you - yet Spankie did, and still managed to shine.
I think she’s a beautiful person, and she showed that all season - a thing made starker by all the drama and beef that happened around her. Anyway, she deserves the win, and I’m happy for her. New Zealand superiority once again!
Hannah Conda +10 points
So interesting that the top three in my power ranking were also the top three in the show. I’m essentially the Michelle Visage of the newsletter world, and I’m not afraid to say it.
Hannah was pretty strong all season, with some great looks. She also won for Snatch Game, but it was very much a case of “the hottest nerd” syndrome - when there’s a whole room of ugly nerds, the hottest amongst them gets a lot of undue attention, even though they’re only fine.
Anyway, Hannah is a great queen, but I never felt like she was close to the crown.
Yuri Guaii +1 points
Did she get a lot of points because I think she’s hot? yes. Does that in any way invalidate the talent and growth she showed on the show? Also yes, but we will overlook that. I thought she was GREAT, had the best looks, and had some really funny moments. Give her a bit of time to cook and I think we would have had a real winner. Hope we get to see her on All Stars, more than anyone else.
Molly Poppinz -1 points
Surprised by this, because I really enjoyed her! But then again, this ranking formula is nonsense, compiled by an idiot, and tallied by someone who famously can’t count. Anyway, Molly got a high score in the first episode, and then slowly chipped away at it with a bunch of -1 scores in subsequent episodes.
Faux Fur -1 points
She got this score from being kicked off first, so not really much to say here.
Aubrey Haive -3 points
I’m sorry i have no memory of who this is, but she probably lost most of her points by being eliminated.
Pomara Fifth -3 points
I don’t object to her doing drag, I just object to her being paid for it.
Minnie Cooper -4 points
Ah, queen of chaos, the clown murderer of drag, Minnie Cooper. She delighted me as much as she annoyed me, getting some very high scores for being an unstoppable weirdo, and then getting some very low scores for also being an unstoppable weirdo (derogatory).
Beverly Kills -11 points
Sometimes you get given the villain edit, and sometimes you write your own villain script. It’s not so much that Beverly was malevolent, it’s just that any moment of talent that she showed was usually outshone by beef she engineered and annoying comments. Classic younger queen syndrome - but she would have been far lower if she hadn’t absolutely TURNED IT OUT in her lipsyncs. Very talented.
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Well that’s it for Drag Race Down Under power rankings! Thank you so much for reading along, and if you didn’t read along, thank you for suffering through these newsletters showing up in your inbox. The Bachelor, the reason we started this recap, is meant to start soon, but we have no idea when. It’s very late! I’ll take a little break until then, but if that goddamn show doesn’t start soon, we will be back with another show - let us know if there’s anything you want us to recap too. And please, if you enjoy our writing, please subscribe to the newsletter, it means so much to us. Bec and I are both writing books at the moment, so every cent counts.
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