Drag Race Down Under power-bottom ranking: episode 3
even at a bottomless brunch populated entirely by bottoms, someone has to be at the bottom
Kia ora and hello and shut up, welcome back to another episode of drag race down under, an episode that made me ask out loud “am I enjoying myself?”
Bitch I might be.
Before we get into this sickening episode, let’s all spare a thought for my partner in crime and my platonic life partner and my co-pilot on this crazy adventure we call television recaps, the ABC favourite Bec Shaw. Because not only is she sickening, she’s very sick. She has the covid and she will not stop vomiting, despite the fact that it’s beginning to look super undignified. What will the court think? How will we ever find her an eligible lesbian husband (I believe thats what we call them).
please… she’s very sick
Anyway, this episode was definitely the best of the season - it was ostensibly a comedy challenge, although they framed it all around hosting a drag brunch. A little bit confusing, considering all the feedback was like “stop hosting and tell us more about yourself” which is really not the role of a host, but that’s fine, we’re in the kooky mixed up world of RuPaul where anything they say, goes.
The queens were funny, mostly, and nobody truly bombed. Compared to the recent All Stars challenge, nobody soared either, but thats fine. The looks were good. The lip sync was good. It just had all the right drag race elements to make a good episode, and hallelujah.
Let’s get power ranking.
WINNERS
Spankie +2 points
Spankie and Yuri won this week, and unlike every other decision on this show ever, I can see the logic. They both looked great (Spankie was wearing pants and a non-fried wig and everything) and their drag brunch hosting routine was the most team oriented. They used a two person setup and punchline for most of the jokes, which made them seem more cohesive.
I was a little confused at Spankie deciding that Molly was trying to sabotage her by putting her with Yuri… and then telling Yuri… seemed like a bad vibe. So her score has ultimately reflected the fact that she won, but was docked for dragging Yuri’s confidence.
Minnie + 3 points
When I was a teenager, the spectre of hiv/aids haunted me, ultimately being one of the many things (such as living in a beachside town, bad vibes, and an ancient witch curse) that kept me in the closet. It was the go-to reference that came with gay people in culture, and for a while in my life, it was what kids at school accused me of having as a taunt. The point being - there was a time when I vehemently wished we could talk about ANYTHING else relate to queerness. But older queens paying tribute to the lives lost, an entire generation of beauty and stories basically wiped out, really gets me, is really beautiful, and really important. Minnie’s gorgeous dress and tribute to her friends and to victims of hiv/aids was really lovely. Minnie’s a wild one, and I’m really enjoying her - can’t wait for her to have a real moment in the season.
Yuri + 3 points
As mentioned earlier, Yuri won along with Spankie, she was clearly nervous about the challenge but performed with commitment and energy, AND she had to go to hospital and come back with a giant swollen eye and put her makeup on super quickly. Superstar vibes!
Kween +5 points
Urgh, KWEEN is such a QUEEN. She deserved to win this week tbh. She has such a strength and confidence in so many things - poise - but also has issues with personal doubt and self criticism. RuPaul rubbing his withered skeleton hands together with glee at the prospect of forcing THIS arc of personal growth.
One of the examples of assuredness she showed us this episode was extremely generously and calmly leading a conversation about racism in drag, after Hannah Conda brought it up. It’s a not inconsequential gift to her white sisters and to the audience to speak so clearly and educate so gently. She then engaged with Hannah’s admittance about her own probbo past with cultural appropriation in drag, and it was a very positive and necessary chat for this franchise. Good vibes.
Beverley + 5
First really good lip-sync goes to Beverley Kills, some great flips and dips and tricks, and I just wanna reward some great performance.
LOSERS
The New Zealand version of Rhys Nicholson -1 point
I forget his name, but he is a comedian. Kinda freaks me out that we all have a different version of ourselves in New Zealand, who are like …. similar, but multiverse similar. Like we don’t look exactly the same, or have the exact same jobs or anything, but it’s clearly us grown in a different country. Weird.
Pomara Fifth -3 points
Pomara unfortunately got booted this week, after losing the lip-sync with Beverly. Their brunch WAS bad, and made the cardinal mistake of not playing as a team - in fact they seemed to hate each other - so it felt deserved. Furthermore, she made a mid-lip-sync decision to lose her skirt and reveal the biggest granny panties i’ve EVER seen on drag race, and let’s just say that after the last couple of panty controversies this season, it’s lucky she was already out the door before Michelle Visage got the chance to boot her again.
But, she also GAINS +2 points for doing the FUNNIEST sulky drag stomp off the stage I have EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE I AM DYING, WHY IS THIS SO GOOD?
Hannah and Molly -3 points each
I’m SO annoyed that Rhys and NZ Rhys got in their heads, because of all the duos, they had the potential to have the best brunch - they were a delight to watch. It was just a shame that they felt they had to force a bunch of jokes that weren’t really funny or in their wheelhouse in. They also flubbed the delivery and impact of those jokes - Hannah started it by not being confident about the priest story, delivering it glibly, making the audience feel like it could be a joke? Then it spiralled from there. Disappointing because I think they are amazing together. That little dance at the beginning was stupid - more of that please!
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Next week is SNATCH GAME, so let’s all lower our expectations and assume the position (get drunk). Thank you - I love you all! If you are enjoying these free drag race down under recaps, please considering following OR subscribing, that way you’ll get access to our flagship recap All The Heterosexual Nonsense I was Forced To Endure During The Bachelor, when it starts later this month.
byyyeyeyeyey