Here's your heterosexual nonsense Bachelorette bingo card!

Let's get ready for tonight...

Oh my god, I’m so excited, tonight’s the night! I haven’t felt this alive since I threw a huge blue sparkly necklace into the ocean to join the frozen body of my lover.

As I wrote today for Junkee, I also have some fears about what could go wrong with this season, but mostly I’m just so goddang enthused.

So, what’s the best way to get ready for something? Why, through the ancient medium of BINGO.

For your viewing pleasure, All The Heterosexual Nonsense I Was Forced To Endure: Bingo!

its super likely we will cross all of these off in the first episode.

Now that’s a bingo! The first person who sends us a completed bingo card wins a prize (seriously, we will send you a prize).

Feel free to share these around, here’s an Insta story format.

this one is the same as the other one, but longer.

We’ll be back soon with the FIRST RECAP, I cannot wait!! Happy Bachelorette night. Oh, and I’m going to open a discussion thread tonight during the episode, if you want to watch together as a community (I don’t know how this works exactly, but there’s a button for it, and I LOVE buttons).

And a reminder - all of the posts we’re doing this week are free, but from next week, our recaps will be for subscribers only, because as queers we are cliquey and elitist.

xoxo, patrick