One Thing: for sale, one strap on, never used

saddest tale ever told

I recently walked past a big council clean-up pile and saw amongst a pile of random crap including a toaster with no cord and an empty VHS cover for the film Hook, the sight of a lonely purple dildo.

At first I was a little surprised - I don’t think I live in the kind of area where people are just rich enough to discard their sex toys willy-nilly, but then I quickly thought of almost five hundred reasons why you’d want to discard a dildo. It reminded me of the age-old conundrum in the bisexual community - who gets the strap on after a breakup? In my mind, it’s not a conundrum - it’s whoever it was used on, but I’ve heard people argue otherwise. Those people are monsters.

Of course it’s a very different story when its use is shared between both people, on a cornucopia of holes. I honestly don’t know the answer, I think it’s between you and the lord.